Kill Me, Deadly by Bill Robens

(24)
Productions (112)
Noir Comedy
|
105 - 120 minutes
5 W, 7 M,  (9-26 actors possible: 4-9 W, 5-17 M)
Content Notes: Mild adult content
Set: Flexible.

Charlie Nickels has a hard life as a gumshoe in the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles, and things are only made harder by the murder of a client and the theft of her 300 karat diamond. With the help of his wise-cracking secretary, Ida, Charlie seeks out the many suspects: smarmy bookworm Clive, equestrian beauty Veronica, snooty butler Wilson, sensitive muscle Louie, and mob boss Bugsy Siegel. At the center of the case is femme fatale Mona, a nightclub singer who captures Charlie's affections...and suspicions. Packed with romance, intrigue, and murder, this detective noir is a smart parody that will keep you guessing until the end.

Pricing Information

Min. Performance Fee* $85
Standard Edition $13.99
eScript Digital Edition $17.5
Stage Manager Edition $24.99
Archival Video License $150

*The per performance fee begins at $85. Your per performance fee will be provided during the ordering process.

eScript Digital editions when purchased as a retail item cannot be printed or downloaded. They are for reading on personal computer, or tablet devices (phones, iPads, Kobo, Sony, etc.). It can viewed on up to 5 individual devices. When an escript is purchased as part of a license, please email [email protected] to receive your printable PDF.


Playscripts is pleased to offer an Archival Video License for an additional $150 for full-length plays and $75 for one-act plays.

Play Details

Charlie Nickels has a hard life as a gumshoe in the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles, and things are only made harder by the murder of a client and the theft of her 300 karat diamond. With the help of his wise-cracking secretary, Ida, Charlie seeks out the many suspects: smarmy bookworm Clive, equestrian beauty Veronica, snooty butler Wilson, sensitive muscle Louie, and mob boss Bugsy Siegel. At the center of the case is femme fatale Mona, a nightclub singer who captures Charlie's affections...and suspicions. Packed with romance, intrigue, and murder, this detective noir is a smart parody that will keep you guessing until the end.

  • Noir Comedy
  • |
  • 105 - 120 minutes
  • 5 W, 7 M,  (9-26 actors possible: 4-9 W, 5-17 M)
  • Content Notes: Mild adult content
  • Set: Flexible.
  • Standard Edition ISBN: 978-1-62384-128-7

Published Reviews

"Set in 1947 Hollywood, where life is as cheap as a chalk-stripe suit, Bill Robens' smart, snappy parody of hard-boiled noir comes complete with jaded gumshoe, a dame in distress -- and plenty of moid-ah."

Philip Brandes, Los Angeles Times

"As eternally cool as it is, film noir, with its supercharged style and general seriousness almost begs to be deflated -- and playwright Bill Robens answers the call."

Terry Morgan, Variety

Production History

APR 13, 2024 - APR 20, 2024
La Salle University
Philadelphia, PA United States
La Salle University Philadelphia, PA United States
MAR 09, 2024 - MAR 16, 2024
Aberdeen Matawan Repertory Theatre
Matawan, NJ United States
Aberdeen Matawan Repertory Theatre Matawan, NJ United States
MAY 05, 2023 - MAY 06, 2023
Benson High School
Benson, AZ United States
Benson High School Benson, AZ United States
APR 28, 2023 - MAY 05, 2023
Lee's Summit West HS Theatre
Lees Summit, MO United States
Lee's Summit West HS Theatre Lees Summit, MO United States
FEB 09, 2023 - FEB 10, 2023
The Philadelphia HS For Creative & Performing Arts
Philadelphia, PA United States
The Philadelphia HS For Creative & Performing Arts Philadelphia, PA United States
NOV 22, 2022 - NOV 22, 2022
Walter G. O'Connell Copiague High School
Copaigue, NY United States
Walter G. O'Connell Copiague High School Copaigue, NY United States
MAY 06, 2022 - MAY 06, 2022
SHS
Garden Grove, CA United States
SHS Garden Grove, CA United States
APR 28, 2022 - APR 30, 2022
Manzano High School
Albuquerque, NM United States
Manzano High School Albuquerque, NM United States
APR 15, 2022 - APR 16, 2022
Polson High School
Polson, MT United States
Polson High School Polson, MT United States
MAR 24, 2022 - MAR 26, 2022
Hard Rockin' Drama Club
Rapid City, SD United States
Hard Rockin' Drama Club Rapid City, SD United States
NOV 05, 2021 - NOV 06, 2021
Manchester High School Drama Boosters
Midlothian, VA United States
Manchester High School Drama Boosters Midlothian, VA United States
AUG 13, 2021 - AUG 22, 2021
Phoenix Stage Company
Oakville, CT United States
Phoenix Stage Company Oakville, CT United States
APR 10, 2021 - APR 11, 2021
South Barber High School
Kiowa, KS United States
South Barber High School Kiowa, KS United States
FEB 25, 2021 - FEB 25, 2021
ORiGiN Theatrical (Twelve25 Salisbury Youth Enterprise)
Salisbury, SA Australia
ORiGiN Theatrical (Twelve25 Salisbury Youth Enterprise) Salisbury, SA Australia
AUG 06, 2020 - AUG 06, 2020
Columbia Recreation Department
Columbia Heights, MN United States
Columbia Recreation Department Columbia Heights, MN United States
JUL 07, 2020 - JUL 15, 2020
CFG Gymnasium
Schwandorf, Germany
CFG Gymnasium Schwandorf, Germany
MAY 01, 2020 - MAY 02, 2020
Chisholm High School Drama
Chisholm, MN United States
Chisholm High School Drama Chisholm, MN United States
APR 08, 2020 - APR 08, 2020
Georgetown High School
Georgetown, TX United States
Georgetown High School Georgetown, TX United States
APR 02, 2020 - APR 04, 2020
South Dakota School of Mines and Technology
Rapid City, SD United States
South Dakota School of Mines and Technology Rapid City, SD United States
NOV 21, 2019 - NOV 23, 2019
St. Thomas Aquinas College
Sparkill, NY United States
St. Thomas Aquinas College Sparkill, NY United States
OCT 25, 2019 - OCT 27, 2019
Iona Preparatory School
New Rochelle, NY United States
Iona Preparatory School New Rochelle, NY United States
SEP 26, 2019 - SEP 28, 2019
Eldon High School Drama Club
Eldon, MO United States
Eldon High School Drama Club Eldon, MO United States
JUN 17, 2019 - JUN 26, 2019
Actors Nausea e. V.
Aachen, Germany
Actors Nausea e. V. Aachen, Germany
MAY 30, 2019 - JUN 08, 2019
Kalamalka Secondary School
Coldstream, BC Canada
Kalamalka Secondary School Coldstream, BC Canada
MAY 15, 2019 - MAY 17, 2019
Ecole Edward Schreyer School
Beausejour, MB Canada
Ecole Edward Schreyer School Beausejour, MB Canada
MAY 02, 2019 - MAY 02, 2019
Ashbury College
Ottawa, ON Canada
Ashbury College Ottawa, ON Canada
APR 25, 2019 - APR 27, 2019
Encore Theater Company
Battlecreek, MI United States
Encore Theater Company Battlecreek, MI United States
APR 08, 2019 - APR 08, 2019
Valley International Prep High School
Chatsworth, CA United States
Valley International Prep High School Chatsworth, CA United States
JAN 10, 2019 - JAN 30, 2019
The Cheerful Hamlets
Warsaw, Poland
The Cheerful Hamlets Warsaw, Poland
DEC 21, 2018 - DEC 22, 2018
Castro Valley Dramatic Arts Academy
Hayward, CA United States
Castro Valley Dramatic Arts Academy Hayward, CA United States
DEC 07, 2018 - DEC 08, 2018
Oxnard Drama Club
Oxnard, CA United States
Oxnard Drama Club Oxnard, CA United States
NOV 08, 2018 - NOV 11, 2018
St. Benedict at Auburndale
Cordova, TN United States
St. Benedict at Auburndale Cordova, TN United States
OCT 26, 2018 - OCT 27, 2018
Bishop Ludden Junior/Senior High School
Syracuse, NY United States
Bishop Ludden Junior/Senior High School Syracuse, NY United States
OCT 19, 2018 - OCT 26, 2018
1999
Newman, CA United States
1999 Newman, CA United States
SEP 27, 2018 - SEP 30, 2018
University Of Missouri Science And Technology
Rolla, MO United States
University Of Missouri Science And Technology Rolla, MO United States
MAY 11, 2018 - MAY 14, 2018
St. Joseph's Collegiate
Brooks, AB Canada
St. Joseph's Collegiate Brooks, AB Canada
APR 19, 2018 - APR 20, 2018
Sparta Drama
El Centro, CA United States
Sparta Drama El Centro, CA United States
NOV 20, 2017 - NOV 24, 2017
UCD Dramsoc
Dublin, Ireland
UCD Dramsoc Dublin, Ireland
NOV 10, 2017 - NOV 19, 2017
College of the Canyons
Santa Clarita, CA United States
College of the Canyons Santa Clarita, CA United States
NOV 08, 2017 - NOV 11, 2017
Francis Howell High School/Limelight Theatre
St. Charles, MO United States
Francis Howell High School/Limelight Theatre St. Charles, MO United States
NOV 02, 2017 - NOV 19, 2017
The Whidbey Playhouse
Oak Harbor, WA United States
The Whidbey Playhouse Oak Harbor, WA United States
AUG 24, 2017 - AUG 26, 2017
Bruce Hall Players (ORiGiN Theatrical)
Acton, ACT Australia
Bruce Hall Players (ORiGiN Theatrical) Acton, ACT Australia
MAY 12, 2017 - MAY 14, 2017
Stewartville High School
Stewartville, MN United States
Stewartville High School Stewartville, MN United States
MAY 03, 2017 - MAY 05, 2017
Burnett Secondary
Richmond, BC Canada
Burnett Secondary Richmond, BC Canada
APR 20, 2017 - APR 21, 2017
Maclay School
Tallahassee, FL United States
Maclay School Tallahassee, FL United States
APR 07, 2017 - APR 08, 2017
Re-Act Theatre Group
Glasgow, United Kingdom
Re-Act Theatre Group Glasgow, United Kingdom
MAR 24, 2017 - APR 15, 2017
STAGEStheatre
Fullerton, CA United States
STAGEStheatre Fullerton, CA United States
MAR 01, 2017 - JUN 30, 2018
PEI Department of Education, Early Learning and Culture
Summerside, PE Canada
PEI Department of Education, Early Learning and Culture Summerside, PE Canada
DEC 09, 2016 - DEC 11, 2016
New Vista
Boulder, CO United States
New Vista Boulder, CO United States
NOV 17, 2016 - NOV 18, 2016
Newman Smith High School
Carrollton, TX United States
Newman Smith High School Carrollton, TX United States
NOV 17, 2016 - NOV 17, 2016
Eastern High School
Louisville, KY United States
Eastern High School Louisville, KY United States
JUL 15, 2016 - JUL 17, 2016
Larimore Drama Department
Larimore, ND United States
Larimore Drama Department Larimore, ND United States
MAY 20, 2016 - JUN 05, 2016
P. M. & L. Theatre
Antioch, IL United States
P. M. & L. Theatre Antioch, IL United States
MAY 01, 2016 - JUN 01, 2016
Drama
Saluda, VA United States
Drama Saluda, VA United States
APR 22, 2016 - APR 24, 2016
Central Westosha High School
Salem, WI United States
Central Westosha High School Salem, WI United States
APR 14, 2016 - APR 15, 2016
Plattsburg High School Theatre
Plattsburg, MO United States
Plattsburg High School Theatre Plattsburg, MO United States
MAR 30, 2016 - APR 01, 2016
Kami Landkamer
Phoenix, AZ United States
Kami Landkamer Phoenix, AZ United States
FEB 25, 2016 - MAR 03, 2016
Navarro College
Corsicana, TX United States
Navarro College Corsicana, TX United States
FEB 05, 2016 - FEB 07, 2016
Milwaukee Lutheran High School
Milwaukee262, WI United States
Milwaukee Lutheran High School Milwaukee262, WI United States
FEB 01, 2016 - MAR 25, 2016
LAKELAND HIGH SCHOOL
RATHDRUM, ID United States
LAKELAND HIGH SCHOOL RATHDRUM, ID United States
NOV 04, 2015 - NOV 06, 2015
Dr. Martin LeBoldus High School
Regina, SK Canada
Dr. Martin LeBoldus High School Regina, SK Canada
JUN 12, 2015 - JUN 28, 2015
Willits Community Theatre
Willits, CA United States
Willits Community Theatre Willits, CA United States
JUN 10, 2015 - JUN 12, 2015
Cold Lake High School
Cold Lake, AB Canada
Cold Lake High School Cold Lake, AB Canada
JUN 05, 2015 - JUN 07, 2015
N/a
Edgewater, BC Canada
N/a Edgewater, BC Canada
MAR 31, 2015 - APR 02, 2015
Institute Of Technology Tallaght Drama Society
Dublin, Ireland
Institute Of Technology Tallaght Drama Society Dublin, Ireland
MAR 12, 2015 - MAR 22, 2015
Long Beach City Colllege
Long Beach, CA United States
Long Beach City Colllege Long Beach, CA United States
FEB 27, 2015 - FEB 28, 2015
Four Rivers Charter Public School
Turners Falls, MA United States
Four Rivers Charter Public School Turners Falls, MA United States
JAN 23, 2015 - JAN 24, 2015
Edward Little High School
Auburn, ME United States
Edward Little High School Auburn, ME United States
JAN 23, 2015 - JAN 24, 2015
Hexagon Players
Crawford Bay, BC Canada
Hexagon Players Crawford Bay, BC Canada
JAN 22, 2015 - JAN 31, 2015
Theatre Guild Valdosta
Valdosta, GA United States
Theatre Guild Valdosta Valdosta, GA United States
DEC 04, 2014 - DEC 05, 2014
Lisgar Collegiate Institute
Ottawa, ON Canada
Lisgar Collegiate Institute Ottawa, ON Canada
OCT 11, 2014 - OCT 19, 2014
MAC Black Box Actors (Mesquite Arts Center)
Mesquite, TX United States
MAC Black Box Actors (Mesquite Arts Center) Mesquite, TX United States
APR 25, 2014 - APR 27, 2014
The Emerson Players
Houston, TX United States
The Emerson Players Houston, TX United States
APR 03, 2014 - APR 12, 2014
St. Andrews University
Laurinburg, NC United States
St. Andrews University Laurinburg, NC United States
JAN 31, 2014 - FEB 02, 2014
St. Vincent De Paul High School
Perryville, MO United States
St. Vincent De Paul High School Perryville, MO United States
JAN 17, 2014 - FEB 09, 2014
Topeka Civic Theatre & Academy
Topeka, KS United States
Topeka Civic Theatre & Academy Topeka, KS United States
JAN 15, 2014 - JAN 17, 2014
John McCrae Secondary School
Ottawa, ON Canada
John McCrae Secondary School Ottawa, ON Canada
NOV 18, 2013 - NOV 19, 2013
Dell Rapids School District 49-3
Dell Rapids, SD United States
Dell Rapids School District 49-3 Dell Rapids, SD United States
NOV 07, 2013 - NOV 09, 2013
Bend Senior High School
BEND, OR United States
Bend Senior High School BEND, OR United States
SEP 12, 2013 - SEP 13, 2013
Rockwall High School
Rockwall, TX United States
Rockwall High School Rockwall, TX United States
MAY 31, 2013 - JUN 16, 2013
Rochester Civic Theatre
Rochester, MN United States
Rochester Civic Theatre Rochester, MN United States
APR 12, 2013 - APR 14, 2013
Husson University: Central Receiving ATTN: Kellie Lewis
Bangor, ME United States
Husson University: Central Receiving ATTN: Kellie Lewis Bangor, ME United States
APR 05, 2013 - APR 07, 2013
Little Red Hen Theatre
Wakefield, NE United States
Little Red Hen Theatre Wakefield, NE United States
MAR 21, 2013 - MAR 29, 2013
James C. Enochs High School
Modesto, CA United States
James C. Enochs High School Modesto, CA United States
MAR 16, 2013 - MAR 30, 2013
Phoenix Stage Company
Naugatuck, CT United States
Phoenix Stage Company Naugatuck, CT United States
FEB 15, 2013 - FEB 16, 2013
OPS Central High School
Omaha, NE United States
OPS Central High School Omaha, NE United States
FEB 14, 2013 - FEB 16, 2013
Redlands High School
Redlands, CA United States
Redlands High School Redlands, CA United States
DEC 14, 2012 - DEC 15, 2012
Barrhead Composite High School
Barrhead, AB, AB Canada
Barrhead Composite High School Barrhead, AB, AB Canada
DEC 04, 2012 - DEC 08, 2012
No Drama Theatre
Dublin, Ireland
No Drama Theatre Dublin, Ireland
NOV 30, 2012 - NOV 30, 2012
Montgomery Area High School
Montoursville, PA United States
Montgomery Area High School Montoursville, PA United States
NOV 16, 2012 - NOV 18, 2012
Georgetown RidgeFarm High School
RidgeFarm, IL United States
Georgetown RidgeFarm High School RidgeFarm, IL United States
OCT 26, 2012 - OCT 27, 2012
Mendota Township High School
Mendota, IL United States
Mendota Township High School Mendota, IL United States
OCT 25, 2012 - OCT 27, 2012
Osbourn High School
Manassas, VA United States
Osbourn High School Manassas, VA United States
JUN 09, 2012 - JUN 09, 2012
Citrus College
Glendora, CA United States
Citrus College Glendora, CA United States
JUN 01, 2012 - JUN 09, 2012
Citrus College
Glendora, CA United States
Citrus College Glendora, CA United States
APR 25, 2012 - APR 27, 2012
Flowing Wells High School Auditorium
Tucson, AZ United States
Flowing Wells High School Auditorium Tucson, AZ United States
APR 12, 2012 - APR 13, 2012
Burton's Auditorium
San Francisco, CA United States
Burton's Auditorium San Francisco, CA United States
MAR 29, 2012 - MAR 30, 2012
Bradford Area High School
Bradford, PA United States
Bradford Area High School Bradford, PA United States
MAR 22, 2012 - MAR 25, 2012
Foley High School
Foley, MN United States
Foley High School Foley, MN United States
NOV 17, 2011 - NOV 19, 2011
Wolf Creek Players
Norton, OH United States
Wolf Creek Players Norton, OH United States
NOV 17, 2011 - NOV 20, 2011
Governor Thomas Johnson High School
Frederick, MD United States
Governor Thomas Johnson High School Frederick, MD United States
NOV 03, 2011 - NOV 05, 2011
Lamar Community Theatre
Lamar, MO United States
Lamar Community Theatre Lamar, MO United States
SEP 29, 2011 - OCT 01, 2011
Shawnee Mission West
Shawnee Mission, KS United States
Shawnee Mission West Shawnee Mission, KS United States
MAY 20, 2011 - MAY 28, 2011
Spokane Community College
Spokane, WA United States
Spokane Community College Spokane, WA United States
APR 01, 2011 - APR 02, 2011
Columbus Catholic High School
Marshfield, WI United States
Columbus Catholic High School Marshfield, WI United States
JAN 07, 2011 - JAN 08, 2011
George Washington High School
San Francisco, CA United States
George Washington High School San Francisco, CA United States
DEC 10, 2010 - DEC 10, 2010
Andrew Hill High School
San Jose, CA United States
Andrew Hill High School San Jose, CA United States
DEC 02, 2010 - DEC 04, 2010
Alta Loma High School
Rancho Cucamonga, CA United States
Alta Loma High School Rancho Cucamonga, CA United States
NOV 18, 2010 - NOV 20, 2010
Pondera Players
Conrad, MT United States
Pondera Players Conrad, MT United States
NOV 11, 2010 - NOV 14, 2010
Williamston High School
Williamston, MI United States
Williamston High School Williamston, MI United States
OCT 29, 2010 - OCT 30, 2010
Ames High School
Ames, IA United States
Ames High School Ames, IA United States
JUN 26, 2009 - OCT 03, 2009
Theatre of NOTE
Hollywood, CA United States
Theatre of NOTE Hollywood, CA United States
APR 13, 2024 - APR 20, 2024
La Salle University
Philadelphia, PA United States
La Salle University Philadelphia, PA United States
JUN 26, 2009 - OCT 03, 2009
Theatre of NOTE
Hollywood, CA United States
Theatre of NOTE Hollywood, CA United States

Awards (1)

Ticketholder Award, Top Ten Plays of 2009

Archival Video License

Playscripts is pleased to offer an Archival Video License to add to your order for an additional $150 for full-length plays and $75 for one-act plays.

This allows you to record one of your live performances for your internal archives only. This cannot be streamed.

For more information, please reach out to [email protected]

eScript Details

eScript Digital Editions cannot be printed or downloaded. They are for reading on personal computer or tablet devices (phones, iPads, Kobo, Sony, etc.) It can viewed on up to 5 individual devices.

You do not need to download any additional program to view your eScript. They will become available in your account on Playscripts.com after payment has been made. For more information on eScripts, please visit our Help page.