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I really appreciate Playscripts and their work toward creating better theater and theater experiences for all. Jay Muldoon Theater Teacher, Fairfield, OH
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Acting Tips for Narcissists

Why do I act? Because I want attention. I don’t care if it’s positive or negative. All I want is eyes on me. Do you want to be a “star”? If you answered yes: read on! (If you answered no: please keep reading, I need you to notice me!)

Tip #1: Acing the Audition

Before you can be in the play, you’re gonna need to prove to the director that you should be in the play. Your chance to do this is at the audition. What I do is I treat the audition like it’s a show and you should too. When you walk into the room throw your script into the nearest trash can. Screaming “I’m the best there is!” will really hammer home the point that you’ve got the goods. Now that your script is in the trash you can prove how good of an improviser you are. The look of shock on the director’s face means she’s impressed. Sometimes the director will be so impressed you won’t even get cast in the play!

Tip #2: Getting the Most Out of Rehearsals

Say the director was so impressed by your audition that you get cast in one of those meaty chorus/townsperson roles: congrats, you’re the star of the show and now you have to rehearse. You’re so good you’re probably going to have to wait around a lot while the director works with other actors on the script, but don’t pass up this opportunity to be the center of attention. Run around, yell, or generally get in the director’s way. It’s YOU being told to calm down or get out. Doesn’t it feel good to be noticed? Shakespeare said the world is a stage, but he should have mentioned that every person you encounter is an audience member. Never forget that by being alive they are obligated to notice you.

Tip #3: Stealing the Show

It’s opening night. Don’t mess this up. When the curtain goes up, you know what to do: wave to your friends and family. Gosh there are a lot of people out there and they’re all here to see you. There are no small parts especially not for you. Did you try climbing on the set during rehearsal? No? Then do it now! Hey, looks like there’s scene you aren’t in. There’s one way to fix that. People said that this show was supposed to be super sad, but you’re getting tons of nervous laughter. You did it, you’re the best.

Tip #4: Getting cast in the next play

Just tell everyone you were going through a “rough patch” and you’re “so sorry.” That should fool ’em. Now, get out there and show them why actors have bad reputations!

 –

Tim Racine, Brooklyn-based playwright and comedian

 

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