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I really appreciate Playscripts and their work toward creating better theater and theater experiences for all. Jay Muldoon Theater Teacher, Fairfield, OH
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Quiz: Is Your Production Ready for Opening Night?

Alice vs. Wonderland

Putting on a play takes a great deal of hard work, organization, and, above all else, time. Take this quiz to see if your production is in shipshape for opening night!

1. Have you picked a play to do?
a. Yes. It’s great! People are gonna love it!
b. What do you mean “play?” Like a football play?

2. Have you auditioned actors?
a. Yes. We cast some great ones.
b. Was I supposed to? I didn’t know I was supposed to!

3. Have you had rehearsals?
a. Yes. We made a lot of great discoveries.
b. No. Let me ask you a question: rehearsals for what?

4. Are the actors off book?
a. Yes. The actors know the script forward and backward.
b. You didn’t answer MY question, what’s happening here?

5. Have the actors learned their blocking?
a. Yes. The Wizard’s funeral looks so cool.
b. I don’t know what that means. I didn’t know what you were talking about when you asked me if I picked a play earlier.

6. Are the sets built?
a. Yes. They look great. There’s even a real, working drawbridge!
b. No. Obviously not!

7. Are the costumes ready?
a. Yes. The King’s robe looks particularly awesome.
b. There aren’t any costumes and there never will be!

8. Is the backstage crew wearing black?
a. Yes. During the set changes they’re completely invisible.
b. I don’t understand what that means.

9. Are there audience members sitting in the theater?
a. Yes. It’s a full house!
b. No.

If you picked mostly a’s: Your production is definitely ready for opening night! Have fun patting one another on the back at the cast party!

If you picked mostly b’s: Your production is not ready for opening night. It’s like you didn’t have any plans to do a play in the first place. It sounds like you’re not involved in theater at all. In fact, we shouldn’t have bothered you. After your answer to the first question we should have gotten the hint. Sorry for wasting your time.

Tim Racine, Brooklyn-based playwright and comedian

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