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Comedy
Full-length, 100-110 minutes
1 female, 1 male, 3 either
(5-43 actors possible: 1-41 females, 1-42 males)
$75.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
The fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm are turned on their heads in this fast-paced, rollicking ride as two narrators and several actors attempt to combine all 209 stories ranging from classics like Snow White, Cinderella, and Hansel and Gretel to more bizarre, obscure stories like The Devil's Grandmother and The Girl Without Hands. A wild, free-form comedy with lots of audience participation and madcap fun. (A one-act version of this play is also available.)
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Comedy
Full-length, 85-95 minutes
7 females, 7 males, 10 either
(19-48 actors possible: 4-43 females, 5-44 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
After an embattled student body president resigns in disgrace, Mark Davenport figures he will cruise to victory in the special election. After all, his only opponent is nerdy Christy Martin, who wants to eliminate football. But when a mysterious Super PAC gives her an unlimited budget, things start to get very ugly. Mark must face total annihilation or accept the services of a slick professional campaign manager with questionable ethics and a million-dollar Super PAC of his own. A hilarious and timely satire on the contemporary political scene.
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| "Everybody loved the show: students, parents, teachers, community members... Several parents approached me after the show to tell me how much they had enjoyed running lines with their kids because the script was so hilarious. And everybody (including the kids!) appreciated the educational value and critical relevance in an election year." |
| --Dakota Benedetto, Visual & Performing Arts Teacher, Fall Mountain Regional High School, Langdon, NH |
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Comedy
Full-length, 60-70 minutes
3 females, 2 males (5-43 actors possible: 0-43 females, 0-43 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
We hate Shakespeare! At least that's what the audience thinks until they get a rip-roaring rundown of Shakespeare's classics. With zombies, talking cows, and an appearance by Jerry Springer, I Hate Shakespeare! is a hilarious and fast-paced introduction to Shakespeare -- with a modern twist. Plus, someone gets a pie in the face.
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Is He Dead? adapted by David Ives
based on the play by Mark Twain |
 
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Comedy
Full-length, 105-120 minutes
4 females, 7 males (11-16 actors possible: 4-6 females, 7-12 males)
$100.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
Jean-Francois Millet, a young painter of genius, is in love with Marie Leroux but in debt to a villainous picture-dealer, Bastien Andre. Andre forecloses on Millet, threatening debtor's prison unless Marie marries him. Millet realizes that the only way he can pay his debts and keep Marie from marrying Andre is to die, as it is only dead painters who achieve fame and fortune. Millet fakes his death and prospers, all while passing himself off as his own sister, the Widow Tillou. Now a rich "widow," he must find a way to get out of a dress, return to life, and marry Marie.
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| "A ripely enjoyable confection! An elaborate madcap comedy that registers high on the mirth meter and reaches especially giddy comic heights!" |
| --David Rooney, Variety |
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Romantic comedy
Full-length, 120-130 minutes
8 females, 6 males (13-40 actors possible: 8-20 females, 5-20 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
All of the wit and romance of Jane Austen's classic 1813 novel come to life in this refreshingly fast-paced and engaging new adaptation. Finding a husband is hardly Elizabeth Bennet's most urgent priority. But with four sisters, an overzealous match-making mother, and a string of unsuitable suitors, it's difficult to escape the subject. When the independent-minded Elizabeth meets the handsome but enigmatic Mr. Darcy, she is determined not to let her feelings triumph over her own good sense -- but the truth turns out to be slipperier than it seems. In a society where subtle snubs and deceit proliferate, is it possible for Elizabeth and Darcy to look beyond his pride and her prejudice, and to make the best match of all? (A one-act version of this play, Darcy and Elizabeth, is also available.)
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| "Jory, the former longtime producing director at Actors Theatre of Louisville and founder of its famed Humana Festival of New American Plays, has crafted an exceptionally clear, funny and moving version." |
| --San Francisco Chronicle |
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Comedy
Full-length, 100-120 minutes
5 females, 5 males, 10 either
(8-75 actors possible: 1-50 females, 1-50 males)
$75.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
Two battling narrators attempt to cover the entirety of Greek mythology using audience participation, cross-dressing, and general theatrical insanity. Famous myths such as Pandora's Box, Jason and the Argonauts (the original Super Friends), and Hercules: Intern God jostle for space with obscure, weird myths such as the myth of Linus and the legend of the Argus. Culminating in a bizarre, musical dance-influenced version of The Iliad complete with a full-scale battle of little green army men, this play is wild, silly, and a complete blast for audiences of all ages. (A one-act version and an Iliad! only version of this play are also available.)
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Comedy
Full-length, 75-85 minutes
39 females, 33 males (20-132 actors possible: 3-129 females, 3-125 males)
$75.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
Stage kisses, pinkeye, inciting World War III -- these are only a few of the many things that can go wrong during the production of a play. From the author of 15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play comes a full evening of the horrors and hardships that befall those who feel the call of the stage. In a series of hilarious examples, this play proves that drama can be a very dangerous thing and it must be avoided at all costs.
(This play includes material from both 15 Reasons Not To Be in a Play and 18 More Reasons Not To Be in a Play.)
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Comedy
Full-length, 90-120 minutes
8 females, 8 males, 5 either
(13-40 actors possible: 7-20 females, 5-20 males)
$85.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Forget all your dusty misconceptions about the traditions of commedia dell'arte as The Love of Three Oranges, based on a scenario by Carlo Gozzi, provides a wild, raucous slapstick comedy that is completely retooled and revised for today's audiences. Prince Tartaglia's life is filled with misery until an evil witch and her equally evil henchmen curse him to search for three giant oranges. But this quest proves more fruitful than anyone could have imagined as a once-lonely prince discovers love, friendship, and laughter when he encounters wizards, monarchs, and a wild narrator who isn't sure how far removed from the story he really is.
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| "...the cast members appear to be having so much fun on stage that it's hard not to get caught up in their playful spirit." |
| --Lisa Millegan, Modesto Bee (California) |
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Drama
Full-length, 80-90 minutes
20 either (5-76 actors possible: 0-76 females, 0-76 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
If you could say anything you wanted, without any consequences or judgment, just what would you say? Based on student responses from around the country, What I Want to Say But Never Will explores this simple but intimate question, offering a glimpse into teenagers' most private thoughts. Told through monologues and anecdotes from the playwright himself, these confessions range from a hilarious rant on an art teacher's bad breath to a touching piece of advice from a brother leaving for the Navy.
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Comedy
Full-length, 75-85 minutes
4 females, 6 males, 15 either
(10-47 actors possible: 4-30 females, 6-39 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
To sell out or not to sell out? Not really much of a question. After their budget is slashed, the drama club turns to Shakespeare's greatest tragedy to raise cash, but it's not tickets that are going to fund this year's show: It's sweet, sweet corporate sponsorship and mid-play commercial advertising. The sponsors demand changes in the stodgy old script, but who cares if Shakespeare never wrote musical numbers with back-up dancers or post-apocalyptic zombie battles? He's dead and he can't complain. Or sue. A lightning-quick, hilarious perversion of the greatest play in the English language. (A one-act version of this play is also available.)
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Murder mystery comedy
Full-length, 100-110 minutes
5 females, 4 males, 4 either (13 actors possible: 5-9 females, 4-8 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
The long-running soap opera The Bold and the Young is in its last days: its hunky hero has self-esteem issues, its villainous old man is more interested in soup, and its heroines are slightly psychopathic. The executive producer gives the squabbling cast an ultimatum: Complete one episode overnight or the show dies. But when the director ends up murdered, and other cast members start dropping like flies, it seems like his threat might actually come true. Can these misfits discover the murderer before the show is literally killed off?
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Comedy
Full-length, 90-115 minutes
2 females, 3 males, 2 either
(7-34 actors possible: 2-31 females, 3-32 males)
$75.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
NOTE: Each piece in this anthology can be licensed and performed separately.
Nothing Serious is a collection of Rich Orloff's 10 most popular and acclaimed 10-minute comedies, including two affectionate dissections of Theatre Itself (Playwriting 101: The Rooftop Lesson and Oh My God, It's Another Play). From Antarctica and Disneyland to the Garden of Eden and inside the womb, Orloff creates theatrical worlds that are both imaginative and hilarious.
To purchase this book of 10 plays, click "Order this play" above. To perform an individual play, click on its title below:
Playwriting 101: The Rooftop Lesson
Eve and Adam: The Untold Story
Bride and Gloom
Bladder Control
Off the Map
Can This Marriage Be Saved?
Matterhorn
Last-Minute Adjustments
Nice Tie
Oh My God, It's Another Play!
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| "Genuine fun that can't help being contagious." |
| --The Honolulu Advertiser |
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Comedy
Full-length, 60-75 minutes
4 females, 6 males
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Miss Nelson can't control her crazy classroom because she's just too nice. But when she disappears, her replacement is the hard-as-nails, detention-loving, recess-canceling, homework-overloading substitute teacher Viola Swamp! With the Big Test approaching, the kids suddenly realize how much they miss Miss Nelson and they'll do anything -- including hiring a private eye -- to solve the mystery of her disappearance and bring her back.
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Comedy
Full-length, 75-85 minutes
5 females, 6 males, 9 either
(14-50 actors possible: 5-25 females, 5-25 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Toy Boatin is Roswell High's bowling star, but he's longing for more than just the state championship. When surgical prodigy Gaberella transfers in, she's immediately drafted onto the surgical decathlon team, but she too wants more. Will Toy and Gaberella unseat Shitzu and Cryin as the leads in the upcoming Winter Muse Cycle? After Gaberella's classmates discover that her singing voice is so bad that it could cause mass casualties, they must decide what's more important -- following your dreams, or preserving life as we know it. An outrageous spoof of the popular Disney sensation.
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| "...the audience need not be young, or familiar with the Disney show,
to get laughs out of this spoof." |
| --The Advertiser-Tribune (Tiffin, OH) |
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Snapshot
by Tanya Barfield, Lee Blessing, Michael Bigelow Dixon, Julie Jensen, et al. |
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Drama/Comedy
Full-length, 80-100 minutes
11 females, 11 males (4-25 actors possible: 2-15 females, 2-15 males)
$75.00 per performance; $9.99 per book
NOTE: Each piece in this anthology can be licensed and performed separately.
A photograph captures and documents a single moment in time and space -- a snapshot of history, of a reality bounded by the photo's frame. But what lies outside, beyond, behind the photograph? And what stories, memories, or associations does an image of place inspire? In this multi-writer project from Actors Theatre of Louisville, a diverse assortment of talented playwrights encounter and transform Mount Rushmore, South Dakota, 1969, a compelling image of the monument by renowned photographer Lee Friedlander. Their thought-provoking scenes and monologues range from delightful comedy to utterly serious tragedy, each approaching the photo's themes through a new lens.
To perform the entire collection, click "Order this play" above. To perform an individual piece independently, click on its title below:
A Quick Tour of the Monument by Craig Wright Monument by Honour Kane Scene at Mount Rushmore by Quincy Long Tyler Poked Taylor by Lee Blessing Rock Scissors Paper by Deb Margolin Little Pezidents by Michael Bigelow Dixon and Val Smith Defacing Patriotic Property by Tanya Barfield Her First Screen Test by Dan O'Brien Thrift of the Magi by Annie Weisman Night Out by Sunil Kuruvilla Here and Now by Chay Yew The Great Father by Victor Lodato American Klepto by Allison Moore Becoming American by Lynn Nottage History Lesson by David Lindsay-Abaire Bomb Squad by Craig Wright On Lincoln's Head by Julie Jensen
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| "A terrific collection of perspectives -- both directly and indirectly inspired by the photo, ranging from serious to sassy..." |
| --Back Stage |
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Comedy
Full-length, 75-90 minutes
1 female, 1 male, 20 either
(15-38 actors possible: 1-37 females, 1-37 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Earl is an idiot. Everybody says so, including his own mother. Undeterred, Earl decides that this title uniquely qualifies him to host an informative guide to high school with the assistance of his friend Shirley (another well-known idiot). Earl and Shirley lead us through hilarious interactive chapters on everything from the true purpose of high school to crafting the perfect excuse, illustrating the topics with the help of fellow students. But with trouble brewing between Earl and Shirley, will they be able to make it to the end without the entire presentation (and Earl's definition of an idiot) falling apart?
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Dracula adapted by William McNulty
originally dramatized by John L. Balderston and Hamilton Deane from Bram Stoker's world-famous novel, Dracula |
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Horror
Full-length, 100-110 minutes
7 females, 7 males (12-14 actors possible: 5-7 females, exactly 7 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Professor Van Helsing and his brave comrades must hunt down and destroy the profoundly evil Count Dracula. But the Count is exceedingly resourceful, employing superhuman strength, psychic powers, and shape-changing to confound and frustrate his antagonists. Culminating in a wild and shocking confrontation between the King of Vampires and those who would rid the world of him, this adaptation is an action-packed, blood-soaked retelling of Bram Stoker's classic tale of horror.
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| "The universality and palatability are the play's strength...undeniably entertaining and exhilarating." |
| --Nathan Thatcher, Louisville Eccentric Observer |
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Comedy
Full-length, 100-110 minutes
12 females, 10 males, 3 either
(18-30 actors possible: 10-20 females, 8-18 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
It's 1961, and ordinary teenager Jane Doe is drafted by the CIA to become a super-secret secret agent. Her mission? Infiltrate an American high school to locate a Russian spy about to send classified space program information to the USSR. But it's not easy being undercover, especially when your spy family consists of a femme fatale "mom," a 40-year-old "younger brother," and the most dashingly narcissistic "dad" ever. Add that to obnoxious fellow students, a blatantly sexist curriculum, and the horror that is prom, and you've got a mission that might be impossible.
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Murder mystery parody
Full-length, 80-90 minutes
58 either (22-58 actors possible: 0-58 females, 0-58 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
One murder, twenty suspects. Who killed Mysterious Host? Could it be Respected General? What about Wealthy Dowager? Or maybe it was Santa Claus. The mystery unfolds as Inexplicably Omniscient Inspector takes on the most thrilling and baffling murder case in the history of thrilling and baffling murder cases. (A one-act version of this play is also available.)
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| "Killer fun! It's 'Clue' on crack." |
| --Patch (Pennsylvania) |
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The Craving
A horrific comedy in two acts
by Don Zolidis |
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Comedy
Full-length, 100-120 minutes
10 females, 8 males, 9 either
(14-27 actors possible: 7-19 females, 2-17 males)
$75.00 per performance; $8.99 per book
Screenwriter Terry Kyle Morris has just written his first screenplay, a heartwarming emotional journey. His dreams are answered when a big Hollywood studio decides to produce it, but the dream turns into a nightmare as they transform his beautiful script into a zombie slasher flick.
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