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Douglas Craven
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Plays by this author
  • Bert's Golf Pants
  • Break Fast
  • Life Line
  • Lockdown
  • Monkey Do
  • Reflex Action
  • Stand Centre Stage and Bark!
  • Douglas Craven. Like tobacco and (more recently) ginseng, Douglas Craven grew from the sandy loam soil of Southwestern Ontario. His writing was encouraged by two inspired and inspiring English teachers, who had no idea what they were loosing on the world. Mr. Craven has earned several degrees in English Literature and Dramatic Arts from the University of Western Ontario. He is an actor, director, teacher, and father. When not writing, he practises Japanese swordsmanship. He lives in Whitby, Ontario.
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    Bert's Golf Pants by Douglas Craven   
    Comedy
    Short, 25-40 minutes
    2 females, 2 males
    $35.00 per performance; $5.99 per book
    Special 33% book discount!

    Half an hour before his daughter's wedding, Bert puts his foot down about his wardrobe: he wants to wear a lurid pair of golf pants. Will his long-suffering family change his mind? Brutally funny, Bert's Golf Pants is a humorous peek under the lid of the family pressure cooker.


    Break Fast by Douglas Craven   
    Drama
    Short, 20-30 minutes
    2 females, 1 male
    $35.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    One morning over breakfast, a mother and father watch their daughter grow up -- from birth to adulthood.


    Life Line by Douglas Craven   
    Comedy
    Short, 10-20 minutes
    1 either (1-4 actors possible: 0-4 females, 0-4 males)
    $35.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    A thin man on a bare stage picks up a phone, desperate for help from the Good Samaritan Life Line. Little does he know that he is about to enter Voice Mail Hell.


    Lockdown by Douglas Craven   
    Drama
    Short, 20-35 minutes
    4 females, 4 males, 1 either (9-11 actors possible: 3-8 females, 4-8 males)
    $40.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    In a dark classroom, eight students sit in an "official lockdown," not knowing if it's just a drill or an actual emergency. When a hysterical younger girl bolts from the room and the teacher follows, the remaining students are left alone to decide if it's safer to stay or run.


    Monkey Do by Douglas Craven   
    Comedy
    Short, 30-55 minutes
    2 females, 2 males, 3 either (4-7 actors possible)
    $35.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    John and Jane are having relationship troubles: she's always lecturing him about the way he eats bananas, and he hogs the tire swing. Life at the zoo becomes even more tense with the arrival of Sarah, a sexy young gorilla with a scent that drives John wild. Monkey Do is a comedy about love, betrayal, very human relationships...oh, and bananas.


    Reflex Action by Douglas Craven   
    Comedy/Satire with music
    Short, 20-45 minutes
    20 either (10-30 actors possible: 0-30 females, 0-30 males)
    $35.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    Reflex Action is a fast-paced, self-reflexive send-up of theatrical conventions, traditions, and techniques, with a flexible cast size and composition. The plot concerns two characters, Itchy and Knee, who discuss the mystery of a place called Woodpecker Plateau. As they await the entrance of their dire arch-nemesis, Professor Unfrenabulous, they must endure choral drama, tableau, body-bag dream sequences, a nineteenth-century operetta, stichomythia, monologues, pauses, Shakespeare, Beckett, Pinter, and Enya.


    Stand Centre Stage and Bark! by Douglas Craven   
    Comedy
    Short, 25-40 minutes
    5 females, 3 males, 5 either (13 actors possible: 5-10 females, 3-8 males)
    $35.00 per performance; $7.99 per book

    Five very different students audition for parts in their school's production of Othello. Each student's expectations and fears are reflected by changes in the audition panel of their drama teachers, who transform from hippies, to demons, to an alien hive-mind, to an interpretive dance troupe. Stand Centre Stage and Bark! is a fast-paced, comical look at the serious business of high school auditions.
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